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The Art of Asking

For Latinas, it is hard to ask for help.  We have learned this from our “do-it-all” mamas.  Our mothers did it al,l and they did it without complaining. So how dare we ask for help?  We, Latinas, learned to do-it-all ourselves.

What we didn’t learn was the Art of Asking.

But wait we did, we did learn about the art of asking, we just don’t realize that we did.  We learned how to ask for help for others, it is so instilled in us that we don’t even realize that we’re doing it.  

Think back to the last time one of your loved ones needed something and I mean really needed something.  You probably jumped in to help them ASAP, no questions asked, and you probably didn’t even ASK people to help, YOU TOLD them to help! 

So then why is asking for ourselves the hardest thing to do?

When it comes to you, then why can you not harass that same power and passion you have for supporting others?  Don’t you believe in yourself too? Don’t you deserve love and support too?

Again, it has been from orgullo, that proud feeling, that we can do it on our own.  It is in our lineage, our heritage, to not ask for help for ourselves.  But we need to break those chains and practice the art of asking for ourselves too. 

We need to learn how to:

  • ask for more
  • ask for help
  • ask for time 

So let’s look at what is behind asking? What’s the real power behind asking for something?  I’ll give it to you straight. It comes down to a mindset of lack or abundance.

It is the belief that the opportunity is there.  When we ask for something, deep down inside, we have this hope, this belief that whatever we are asking for is possible.  

So, then why is asking so hard?  Because there is a big part of us that doubts that there is an opportunity, and our doubt is causing us to come from a place of lack. 

So when you doubt yourself, and your mindset, is based on the lack then you cannot see the abundance.  And when you ask with a belief of lack then you reaffirm this belief when you don’t get what you asked for.  Wait, what? So do we ask or don’t we ask?

Ok, so here’s the deal, I am all for you asking for what you want but if you don’t believe that you can get it, then you won’t.  You have the power in you to believe, I know you do because again imagine you were asking for your husband, your child, family, or friend.  You wouldn’t be asking, you would be telling.  

I will be honest, I absolutely hate asking for things.  I get embarrassed when I need to ask for something, especially if it is for myself.  But when it comes to my husband, kids, or friends, there I am ready to help them out.  Shoot, I don’t even have to be a close friend if I see someone that needs help I give it without them asking.  

A couple of months back, my husband who is studying to be an occupational therapy assistant, had an assignment where he needed to interview a caregiver for an individual over fifty.  As annoyed as I was because he literally waited to the last minute to ask for help, I jumped in to help him. With all the passion behind my actions within one hour I had someone willing to interview with him.  Just like that, I moved heaven and earth, to help this man I love without question, without belief it would not have been possible.  

I know you probably have a million stories like that.  Where you went above and beyond for others; where you moved heaven and earth to help someone in need. So, what I want you to practice, is the Art of Asking for yourself.  With the same passion and hope behind that, you do for others as if it was for someone you love (and you should be loving yourself the same).

You deserve everything that you want and from today forward begin practicing the Art of Asking:

  • ask for more
  • ask for help
  • ask for time 

By being willing to ASK, you are believing that there is an opportunity. You are believing in yourself.

Use that same energy and passion you have when asking for others, when asking for yourself.  Truly believe that the opportunity is available for you and it will arise. 

What are your stories, where you used the Art of Asking for yourself or others? Leave me a comment below.

Ready to take control of your career and plan your next move? Schedule your clarity call with me today.

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